The Love of a Marauder
by angry-snowball
Summary: She's always reading. He's usually in detention. She doesn't understand Quidditch. He's team captain. He's a pureblood. She's a Muggle-born. He's James, and she's Lily. And they're opposites- but don't opposites attract? T for language. Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling. R&R please!
1. Memories

"Mudblood!" The word echoed in Lily Evan's mind, a harsh reminder as to what had happened at the end of the term. Now, as she sat in her room on the second to last day of August to pack her trunk, she wondered where she had gone wrong with him. The pain was as bad as the day it had happened. Lily wished she knew why this was hitting her so hard, and why it hit her now. She let herself be upset almost the entire summer, passing time by doing her homework, especially essays for Transfiguration, with the hopes that this would put her ahead in her worst subject. But now, all of that was pushed from her mind as she thought of the boy who she had considered her best friend. She swiped angrily at the tears gathering in her eyes, refusing to cry over him, especially after so long. Merlin... this shouldn't be so hard! She thought. Lily gathered herself and took out a quill, parchment, and ink. She stood with her quill poised, wondering whether not to bother her best mate with something so insufficient.

Lily sat at her desk, pondering the idea of writing her best mate. Marlene had always been able to tell when Lily lied, even if it was in writing. She knew she would want her to write. Before she could give it a second thought, her hand was flying across the page, a familiar scratching noise reaching her ears, writing a short but meaningful letter.

Marlene,

I miss you terribly, and I can't wait to see you tomorrow! I'm not going to make small talk, because you always seem to know when I'm lying, even in letters. Although I can hardly stand waiting until tomorrow to see you, Mary, Emmeline, and Alice, I could definitely do without seeing Sev. The past fortnight or so I have been positively bursting with excitement, but I just thought, what in the name of Merlin do I say to him? Snape, that is. I suppose I ignore him, right? Or do I hex him? Any ideas? You always seem to know what do, especially with this kind of a thing.

See you soon,

Lily

P.S Don't be late for the train (again), love!

With the letter finally written, she sealed the letter and sent it off to Marlene with her tawny owl, Piper, before she could change her mind. Sighing once more, she went back to packing, both anxious and excited for the day that would soon be upon her.

_James_

James watched as his best mate fell onto his bed with a groan, "Why, in the name of Merlin did you let me wait this long to pack?"

James chuckled at what Sirius did each and every year, without change. He postponed packing and then blamed it on James. "I tried to tell you to pack, I did, but you were always a bit preoccupied with either eating or debating whether or not to write Marlene. You've known her nearly your entire life, I don't know why you didn't." While James waited for Sirius to reply, he let his mind to wander to Lily, thinking of her blood-red hair, and those vibrant emerald green eyes that often held a glare towards him. He couldn't help but think how beautiful she looked when she was angry, although he often had little time to admire her beauty before she jinxed him. He was so lost in his thoughts that he barely heard his mate's retort.

"It would've been strange! I never write her, wouldn't she wonder why I suddenly decided to contact her?

James grinned like the Cheshire cat, mischief sparkling in his eyes. "Pads, she almost wrote to you. Many, many times. But, I asked her not to. Better to watch you squirm, no?"

"James…" Sirius growled.

"Calm yourself, dog." James teased, and Sirius burst into laughter, his anger disappearing as quickly as it'd come.

"I'm a bloody idiot," Sirius said, smacking his forehead with far more force than he'd intended.

"Well yes, but why now?" James joked, laughing lightly.

"Well- hey! Mate, you and I both get top marks, don't be cheeky! What I was saying was that I reckon I can just use magic to pack, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose. We're both under-age, but my parents are home, so I reckon we should be fine."

"Right then," Sirius said before waving his wand and watching all of his belongings soar neatly into his trunk.

_Marlene_

Marlene McKinnon lay in her bed, sleeping contentedly when there was a sudden tap on her window, waking her. She stared blearily towards the window and saw an owl, silhouetted against the bright sky. "Bloody hell," She muttered, "Did I oversleep?" she peered over at her muggle alarm clock and yelped when she saw it read 10:30. 'I have so much to do!' she thought frantically, 'I have to pack, and do my laundry and' - Peck. – 'right. The owl.' She swung her legs out of bed and walked over to the window and let what she now recognized as Lily's owl in to her room. She fed her an owl treat and took the letter over to her bed to read it. After scanning it, she couldn't help but giggle at her friend's worry. Nonetheless, she gathered parchment, walked over to he desk, and wrote out a reply. She then sent it along the way with Piper, which had obviously been instructed to stay.

Once that was taken care of, she moved to do her wash. She grinned at the thought of seeing her friends once more, and her smile grew wider when she realized that although they had to start N.E.W.T courses- which aren't taken until seventh year, she would see Sirius Black again, whom she had begun to fancy around the middle of fifth year. Perhaps, if luck was on their side, James would be more bearable around Lily and she would finally get around to realizing that she had feelings for the bloke, even if they were currently hidden in some deep, dark, corner of her soul. But, she figured that that was a bit too much to hope for.

She sighed, figuring that she could talk to Lily and the girls about it tomorrow, and maybe pull her feelings for him out of that corner. All the same, she knew that it was a lost cause. She laughed at her mate, and figured that she ought to at least try to get Lily and James together, even if she knew her attempts would be futile. She shifted her mind back to packing, wishing all the while that she was of age, for if she was, she could be done packing with just a flick of her wand and a useful spell that Lily had taught her ages ago. She knew that this was nothing more than a fantasy, so she returned to her room to continue what she had started.


	2. Emotions

(A/N: I'm looking for a beta so if you are accepting now, please PM me! Constructive criticism is the best kind of criticism!)

Lily felt a thrill of excitement shoot through her body as she walked confidently towards what, to every Muggle in the crowded train station, was simply a wall. But to Lily Evans and every witch or wizard who went to Hogwarts, the barrier between platform nine and ten in King's Cross Station means so very much more. This wall is the sole entrance to Platform 9 ¾, where the Hogwarts Express waits to take her and many others back to the place that was becoming more of a home to her than where she had spent the first 11 years of her life. Marlene had responded to her plea for help fairly quickly, telling her to buck up and jinx him strait into the hospital wing whenever she felt the need. He deserved it for being a 'slimy, disgusting, snake', or so Marlene said. Lily felt this was a bit much, considering she was a prefect and would never do that because it's something Potter would do, but she appreciated it all the same.

Lily moved faster still, and suddenly she was out of the overly crowded muggle station and onto platform 9 ¾. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a long, blonde mane of hair. A smile appeared on her face as she walked up behind her best friend. "Mar! How have you been? How was-" Lily said, but that was all she could get out before Marlene whipped around, her hair catching Lily in the face and her words blocking out hers.

"Lily!" Marlene all but screamed, pulling the girl into a bone-crushing hug. Lily wrapped her arms around her back, and they held to that for a moment, before jumping apart excitedly.

"How have you been? How was your summer? Snog anyone exciting? I wouldn't be surprised, you look amazing!" Lily gushed, words falling from her mouth like leaves from a tree in late autumn.

Marlene just rolled her eyes, spinning on her heel. "I'll tell you later, let's find the girls."

"Sure. I reckon they'll be on the train? But, maybe if we're lucky, Alice is off somewhere snogging Frank. It's only a matter of time before they figure themselves out, hey? What you think?" The blonde's only response was a knowing smile. Infuriating, if you asked Lily. "What? Mar, tell me!"

"Oh, it's nothing Lil. Just… are you sure you aren't speaking of yourself and a certain black-haired marauder?"

"Marlene! I would never think of Sirius in such a way! After all, we all know you're crazy for him! A bit hard not to notice, if I do say so myself." Lily smirked, but Marlene kept her cool, and didn't falter.

"Not Sirius. I mean James, and you know that."

"Mar, I'm not having this conversation again. What do I have to do to convince you that I don't, and never will, fancy Potter?" Lily spat out the last word.

"Talking about me again, are you?" Speak of the devil, thought Lily.

"You wish. I'll see you later, we're going to find a compartment." Lily said, turning around and walking away. Be nice! Don't let him get to you, it's a waste of energy, she told herself.

"I'm working on it." She heard Marlene mutter to James as she marched off.

_James_ _

Merlin, she's gorgeous. James thought as he watched the girl walk towards the train.

"Oi! Prongs! Remember me?" Sirius called in James' ear.

"Sorry. I was just… distracted."

"I noticed. You're staring at the spot where Miss Evans was just a moment ago. We know you love her, we know you think she's the most gorgeous thing to walk this universe, but hell mate, no need to be so bloody... public." Sirius sniggered.

"S'alright, seeing as we are all well informed that you are head-over-heels for her best mate. Plus, she is the most gorgeous thing to walk this universe. Have you seen the girl? Bloody stunning! Then again, you obviously only have eyes for Mar." James replied coolly.

"But- I- No- You-," Just then, they arrived at the compartment they sat in every year. They paused, having heard shrieks and giggles. Uncertainly, James reached forward and pried the door open. Inside, her found a tangle of arms, and his eyes immediately zoned in on a shock of red hair. Evidently, Lily and Marlene had just found their friends and fallen to the floor in a (failed) attempt at a group hug. He chuckled quietly and sat down, propping his legs up on the opposite side.

The sounds started to quiet, the girls untangling themselves, taking care not to rip anyones' muggle clothes. Mary was standing first, straightening her tie and sitting between Peter and Remus. Marlene stood next, pushing James' feet off of the seat next to Sirius and taking it for herself. Alice and Emmeline stand together, taking the two seats on his left. Later, James will claim that his heart stopped when he realized. There was one seat left, to his right, next to the window.

Lily stood, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear and sitting next to him without complaint, to everyone's shock. What changed? 'Oh no-What do I say? I always tease, what do I do? Don't say something stupid, don't say something stupid, PLEASE don't say something stupid! And good Godric, BREATHE!' After this mini self pep-talk, James composed himself, constantly reminding himself not to say something stupid. But, despite his precautions, all that came out was, "Gorgeous, you are. Alright, Evans?" Once the sixteen year old realized what he'd just said, he was left to inwardly curse himself and wait for the explosion that was sure to follow.

So, when Lily simply laughed, a sound James never wanted to stop, and said, "Never been better. You?" James just stared at her, mouth hanging open like in a cartoon, thinking, 'Did Lily Evans, THE Lily Evans, the girl that absolutely hates me, just not scream her head off at me?! Am I dreaming?' "Potter? Are you okay?" Lily asked again, "And close your mouth." With this, she reached up and gently pushed his jaw upwards, her fingers feather-soft on his skin. His heart beat faster, louder, and he was sure that she could hear it. He gulped. 'This woman will be the end of me…'

_Lily_

Lily carefully pushed his jaw up until his lips sealed, not wanting to seem harsh. _That went… well enough. I think. I'm not sure how long I can go without yelling at him though. He can be quite stupid._

"I-Uh-You-I'm-Why-Uhhhh." James replied, if you can call that a reply. "What I mean to say Evans is that I'm doing well, thanks, and you are… well… you-you're bloody gorgeous. I know I just said it, but hell Evans, you really are. Just in case you didn't know."

At this, Lily felt a blush creeping up her neck. Curse of a redhead. She blushed way too easily. Always had. "Uhmmmmm. Thanks. Thank you, I mean. You too. Uhhh, no. Not what I meant. Well yes, obviously, but-," She stopped talking when a hand was pressed to her mouth, a well-known gesture for 'Shut the hell up, now'. _You too?! What the hell was that?_ She turned to Sirius, a 'thank you' ready on her lips. She didn't understand _why_ he helped her, of all people but… she would take what she could get. "Uh, thanks Black." And why the hell can't I speak?

"Anytime Evans. Seriously though, I've got to talk to you later. Don't let me forget." He was smirking.

"Okay?" She said, nervous as to what the wizard had to say. _WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? You got eleven OWLs, and you're the brightest witch in the year! You are fully capable of creating full sentences!_

"Evans, 'you too'? What, now you think that good ol' Prongsie here is 'bloody gorgeous' as well? Merlin, I always thought that I was the gorgeous one." Sirius pouted, before changing the subject, "Anyways, how many OWLs you guys get? I got 9. Outstanding in Transfiguration, Defense, Muggle Studies, and Potions, Exceeds Expectations on Charms, History of Magic, Astronomy, Care of Magical Creatures, and Runes. Acceptable in Divination, and Arithmancy."

"Igotelevenowlsoutstandingineverythingbuttransfiguration," mumbled the witch.

"Uh, Evans, could you say that again please? Separate your words this time, if you can." James asked.

Deep breath. It isn't embarrassing. It's a good thing. You're incredibly smart. Just SAY it. "I got eleven owls. Outstanding in everything but transfiguration." She said, loud and clear. Potter whistled quietly.

"Hell Evans, you beat me again." He says.

"Well…" She giggled, her nerves quelled once more, "Of course I did! What did you get?"

"Uhhh… I- well don't act too surprised. I do study, contrary to popular belief. I got ten OWLs. Outstanding in all but Charms and Acceptable in Runes. The Runes section was bloody difficult."

"Wow. Great job! Honestly, I didn't think you had it in you." she said, truly surprised. She glanced at the watch on his wrist and yelped, cutting off Marlene, who'd just begun to recite her test scores.

"What's wrong?" Asked James, seemingly genuinely concerned.

"REMUS!" Lily practically screeched, "We're late! We're five minutes late to the prefect meeting! Come on!" Lily yelled as she grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him out of the compartment, taking off down the corridor.

_James_

James just sat there, stunned, because Lily Evans, Lily bloody Evans, just had an actual conversation with him, and-mistake or not-said 'you too' when he called her gorgeous… and she didn't even yell at him for calling her so, as she usually did. No, she blushed. Lily Evans. He'd made Lily Evans blush.

"Hell. Congrats, Prongs!" exclaimed Sirius, "You've had your first-ever civilized conversation with Evans after six years of knowing her!"

"Just so you know, she's only being nice because she decided she isn't letting your stupid game get to her this year." Marlene said.

"What game? What are you talking about?" He asked, confused.

"The one where you ask her out for kicks all the time." Marlene elaborated.

"I swear, I have no clue what you're talking about." James said, seemingly sincere. Marlene quickly grew angry, because she absolutely hated it when people play dumb.

"The one where you chase her just because she doesn't melt when you look at her like every other idiotic girl in this goddamned school. Grow up!" Everyone jumped, surprised by Marlene's sudden outburst, "God, James, you really screw with her. She doesn't need you to protect her! She spent far too much time crying over you last year! You need to stop trying to impress her, stop asking her out so much, and overall stop being a bloody PRAT! Then, maybe she'll just consider being your friend! But as of right now, she hates you! I could see it in her eyes just now when you two were talking, it took so much willpower for her not to yell at you!" Marlene screeched, "And James, I love you, I've known you my entire life, but I swear if you make her cry once this year, you will regret the day you were born. I may not look much a fright, but you and I both know that I'm a bloody good dueler and I know how to throw a hex. Do not make her cry this year. Give it up. She's a human, not a goddamn object for you to play around with. She is not going out on a date with you! When are you going to get that through your impossibly thick skull? It's a crush. You think you love her. You have no idea what you mean by that. You'll get over it. And when you do, she'll be the one abandoned, and I am NOT letting that happen to her. So please do us all a favor, and get over it. Get over your bruised ego, and pick your over-inflated head up off the ground." She finished, her tone deadly silent.

"Mar. This isn't-," James began, but she cut him off, her rant starting all over again.

"No. Don't you dare 'Mar' me right now. She is my best friend-more like my sister, and if you hurt her again, in any way, I will hex you straight in to a week-long hospital stay. I love her, I have been friends with her since first year, and I hate seeing her upset." She said.

But before she could start another sentence, James decided that it was his turn to yell. Marlene shouldn't have said anything. Not when she had no clue what he feltfor Lily. "So do I! I hate seeing her upset, and I hate knowing that I caused it! I never meant to hurt her, and I am more sorry than you could ever understand! She isn't just a game to me! Maybe in the beginning she was, because to my idiot eleven year-old brain she was just a very, very, pretty girl! Trust me I'm not saying that she isn't now, but now she is so much more! Then, end of third year, she got hot. Then, fourth year, I realized that she wasn't just hot, she was bloody gorgeous. I also realized that she wasn't just any other girl, because I fancied her! Fifth year! I realized that this stupid crush wasn't going away, so I named it as an infatuation! Finally, by Christmas break, I realized that she has more pull over me than anyone else, because I fell for her! I love her, okay! I never want to make her cry again, and please if I do, go right ahead and hex me! If I make the woman I love cry, then I bloody well deserve it! I don't chase her because I never got her to say yes and that hurt my ego, I chase her because I never got her to say yes and that hurts my heart! I only asked her like I did because I wanted to prove to her that I am worthy of her, I wanted to impress her! So no, she isn't just 'a goddamn object'. She is a human, and a bloody amazing one at that! I never showed how hurt I was, not to anyone, when she turned me down time and time again because I was James bloody Potter, and showing any remorse at something so stupid is weak! And I am a Lion, I am not weak. That girl has a stronger hold on me than anyone. If she tells me to jump, I say how high. If she says run, I run faster than I ever have. Because I love her. She's it for me, and somewhere deep inside me I think I always knew that it was only her. It's bloody pathetic, but it's true, and don't stop to think for a second that even if I'm not asking her out, I will ever stop chasing her. I will never stop chasing after Lily Evans, and I will never stop loving her. Understood?" James concluded, barely believing that he just confessed everything that he felt for this girl. His chest heaved as he looked around the compartment, everyone sitting impeccably still, mouths hanging open.

"I-Yes. And I take it that you would appreciate if we didn't mention this to her?"

"Please."

"I wouldn't dream of it. And James?"

"Yeah?"

"I reckon she loves you too, somewhere deep down, even if she doesn't know it yet."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah, James. Yeah, I do."

"Oh… well… probably not, but thanks anyways."

"No problem. And you know that me and the girls are always here for you, right?"

"Yeah, I reckon I do." And, as he said this, he realized how much truth there was behind his words. James realized that never before had he been so grateful that the compartments are partially soundproof, or Lily would have heard ever last word.

_Lily_

"Okay. Now that we got that over with, let's head back. We have patrols second to last," she said with a sigh. Even though she loved being a Prefect, the start-of-term train meetings were always incredibly dull.

"Sounds good to me." Remus replied, and they headed down the hall towards their compartment. Lily knocked before entering, because without the two peacekeepers there, who knew what they could be doing. They walked in to see everyone staring at James. She wondered why, before deciding that she'd find out eventually.

Lily re-took her seat next to James subconsciously, missing the look of surprise and awe on his face. "So… what'd we miss? Anything interesting?" Asked Lily, ever the curious one.

"No," James replied, his voice strangled. She didn't believe him. Just this once, thought Lily, I can let it go. And however much will power it may have taken, she did.

_James_

His breath hitched when she entered the compartment, and his heart raced. He wanted to kiss her so badly in that moment, but he knew that it would ruin whatever peace they had. When she sat next to him, even with Remus' seat open, his heart skipped a beat. So when she asked if they'd missed anything it took everything in him to say no. Her brow furrowed for a moment, and damn it that's not adorable, before she looked up at him, green eyes locked onto hazel, and said, "Okay." He was surprised that she hadn't pressed the issue, but he was astonished by what came next. "Truth or dare, Potter?"

"Dare." He responded, almost as a reflex. Lily smiled wickedly, and he decided that that smile might just be scarier than her glare.

"That there, was a terrible idea. Lily's dares are a force of nature-something we've all come to fear." Alice said, her demeanor serious.

"Try me." He challenged

"I have to do patrols now, but when I get back… be ready." Lily stood, mischief sparkling in her eyes and her mind already at work.

(After patrols)

He was nervous. He would never admit it to anyone, but everyone who'd played truth or dare with Lily assured him that he was in deep shit. So when the compartment door opened, his shoulders tensed and his back straightened. But it was Remus, not Lily. James looked around, confused. "Where's Evans?" he asked.

Now it was Remus who was confused. "She said she was heading back ten minutes ago… I said I'd wait. She should definitely be back by now." Just then, Lily burst in and fell to her best mate, tears falling from her eyes. She sobbed, and James felt as though someone was twisting a knife in his chest. Marlene immediately wrapped her arms around her friend, murmuring soothing words to her. James had never felt so helpless. He decided that it was his least favorite feeling. He wanted to be able to be there for her. He needed to help her.

He didn't see Alice, worry clouding her brown eyes. Or Emmeline, who looked like she was about to kill someone, protective as she was. He moved to Lily, knowing it was stupid, but knowing that he had to do something. The Gryffindor was terrified that she would push him away, but he knew that she might not, and that made the risk worth it. He stood there, unsure. James searched Marlene's eyes, looking for something. What, he wasn't sure. But when she nodded, the tiniest of movements, he knew what to do.

He reached out to her, held her shoulders. "Lily. Lily, talk to me. What's wrong."

"S- Sev. I mi- miss him. He w- wanted to t-talk. I said n-no" The witch cried. Sirius looked on with disbelief, but it was lost to James. James bristled. He had nerve… yet another sob brought him back to the situation at hand. James hesitated for only a moment before enveloping the woman he loved in his arms. He'd thought she would pull away from him, so when he felt her hands fist in his shirt, her tears soak his shirt… he thought, for the first time, that maybe, just maybe he had a chance.

More reviews = next chapter comes faster!


	3. Feasts and Pranks

Here's another one! Hope you like it, PLEASE (please?) review, any and all suggestions are welcome and appreciated!

Disclaimer: I don't own it. If I did, there would already be a Marauder's era series out. There isn't *tear* so obviously I'm not J.K. Rowling.

_Lily_

The house-elves had done an exceptional job on the Welcoming Feast once again. Food covered the Gryffindor table from end to end, with everything from roast beef to peppermints (no one ever understood why we had those). James sat next to Lily, Marlene on her other side. They took turns hexing people who made fun of her for crying on the train. Emmeline sat across from Lily, sympathy clearly written across her face.

As per usual, the feast was interrupted by the Marauders' annual firework display. Everyone looked up, just in time to see one of the stars on the enchanted ceiling change to scarlet, and another to gold. A beat later both exploded, followed by many others. Multicolored sparks peppered the enchanted ceiling. The sparks changed to glitter, and rained down on everyone, students and teachers alike. However, before the first could touch the ground, they rocketed upwards and formed a life-size replica of Professor McGonagall, made completely out of glitter. Laughter sprinkled the hall when the remaining sparkles came together to form the word "'Minnie'- the Marauders", the well-known nickname for the transfiguration teacher, much to her dismay.

Just when everyone thought the show was finished, they found the sparkles re-arranging to become Albus Dumbledore. They nicknamed him 'Alby', which Lily thought was a bit stupid, considering the man had the power to expel them whenever he saw fit. But, her worries were relieved when she saw the Headmaster laughing, tears of mirth sitting unshed in his piercing blue eyes. She joined the laughter, not noticing how James lit up when he saw her laughing once more.

"Thank you boys, for this extraordinary show of magic. Five points each to Gryffindor. Now, let the feast continue, barring anymore interruptions." Dumbledore said, attention drawing towards him.

Lily turned to James and said, "That was... amazing. How'd you get the ceiling to do that?" She could practically see his ego inflating, but for the first time since first year, she couldn't bring herself to be bothered.

"Magic," Sirius replied before James could get a word in edgewise, "Can't have Prongs going around telling people how we're so awesome, now can we?"

"No, I suppose not," was the redhead's response before… "I suppose you boys pride yourself on your pranks?"

"Obviously! Who else could come anywhere close to our pure excellence?" Sirius said.

"Really modest. Truly. I have two words, and three rules to go with them." Lily said, smiling mischievously.

"Lily." Marlene's tone was warning, saying 'don't start this now!' Lily ignored it.

"Prank war. Three rules. No maiming or seriously- don't say it –injuring. No pranks in anyway harmful at anyone on the quidditch team the week before a match. Lastly, don't get caught,and if you do-throw anyone under the bus and you'll pay for it. Understood?" Their wide-eyed competitors nodded, as though wondering when prefect Lily Evans became a prankster. As if she knew what they were thinking, she said, "Good girls are just bad girls who never get caught. Never heard that? Mar, Em, Al… on three. One, now!" She said it quietly enough that no one but the sixth year Gryffindor's heard them. The boys looked at each other, not noticing anything. They hadn't even seen their wands.

"Evans, whatever you just tried didn't work." James said, underestimating Lily for the first and last time.

"It did, trust me. You just wait. Good night!" Lily stood, her mates trailing after her. Once they were on the stairs in the great hall, Lily turned to them. "24 hour timer?" They all nodded in confirmation. "Good. I'll see you at the dorm, I have to get the first years. The password is 'sugar quills'. Don't look at me, Dumbledore made it." They all chuckled before parting ways.

Lily, as per usual, was right, and right when she reached the great hall, she called for the first years over the students rushing to get to bed.

The walk to Gryffindor Tower was the same as any other, first years marveling at everything, and Peeves bothering them just for the hell of it. When they reached the tower, Lily showed them the common and dorm rooms before heading to her own. "Finally," she sighed, "I haven't been able to talk to you all day! How are you? How was your summer? Snog Frank yet, Alice?"

"No! I don't fancy him!" Alice cried.

"Right. You don't fancy him, the same way that Lily most definitely doesn't fancy James- right?" Emmeline said, her lips curving into a smile.

Lily rounded on her, pulling her wand. "I love you all, but the next person to suggest that I fancy him is being sent to the hospital wing for a week," And on that note, Lily put her wand away, smiling, "And besides, we have more important things to worry about. The Marauder's have no clue what they're in for. It's planning time." And so, for hours to come, all of the sixth years in Gryffindor Tower could be found on the floor and on their beds, planning the prank war that would affect the whole school at one point or another.

-James-

"Prongs, mate? You alright?" Sirius stared at his best friend as he laid in his bed.

"I swear, Pads. If you let me screw this up, I will kill you." He replied, a grin on his face.

"Well. I can certainly try, but this is up to you. And, you look so bloody stupid with that thing on your face. Plus, mate, you better jump back into the game, right now. We've been pranked, we don't know by what, but mark my words, they did something. And you better not think that I am going to sit down and take it, whatever 'it' may be, no matter who it was."

"Uhhhhhhhhhh. Ummmmmm. Errrrrrrrrrrr." James said intelligently.

"Now, Prongsie, I understand that you don't want to prank our dear old Evans, but, honestly, did you hear her? Now way in hell am I letting her get off so easy with that."

"Fine."

"Really?" Sirius asked, perking up immediately.

"It really does make sense that your animagus is a dog. Honestly, I reckon you're just a puppy at heart." James chuckled.

"AM NOT!" Sirius roared, tackling his partner in crime, who had sat up to talk to him..

"Wait! Pads, we have to plan! We can't just go in guns a blazing!" James said, attempting to knock some reason into Sirius' mind, which was very, very un James-like.

"You're right…this time. Just this time." Sirius sighed, ever the sore loser. So they did, and they spent their night very similarly to the girls across the common room.

This one is a bit shorter, sorry about that, but I have the flu so it couldn't really be helped- I just wanted to get something up. Reviews mean next chapter as usual! Thanks.


	4. Dream or Nightmare?

Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable.

-Lily-

Dream Start

" _Leave him ALONE!" I yell, pointing my wand at the offending boys. Potter turns, and his free hand jumps up towards his hair, but before he can reach it, I smack it down. God, I hate it when he does that._

" _Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you." He said, but I knew he wouldn't and nonetheless, couldn't. I was confident that I was just as good at dueling as he._

" _Take the curse off him then!" I yell. He sighs, as though pulling from his soul a reason to do so. In the end, he turns towards Sev and mutters the counter-curse._

" _There you go. You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-" Potter says, looking disappointed still._

" _I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" he shrieks. I stare, but only for a moment before…_

" _Really? Really, Severus? And to think… I thought you were different." I spat, my throat constricting painfully and my eyes welling with unshed tears, "But, obviously I was wrong. I'm just a Mudblood to you and every single one of your little Death Eater friends. Have fun joining their side, Sev. Have fun having yourself branded to him, like he bloody owns you. Have fun putting your loyalty and trust into the man that wants me and every other muggle and muggle-born dead. Go join Voldemort, go be with your precious Dark Lord. After all, if anyone deserves to be there, it's you." My voice cracks on the last sentence, and I turn around before he can get the satisfaction of seeing me cry. But, it seems that Potter caught it._

" _APOLOGIZE! YOU IDIOT! HOW COULD YOU? HOW-" He says something to Sev, under his breath. I can tell it bothers him by the fires raging in his eyes, a look that I so often see when James Potter is around. Then, he raises his voice a bit, so that a few surrounding people and I can hear him. "How can you say something like that to such a wonderful girl?" His wand was out again, so now I turned on him._

" _You're just as bad!" I screech, spinning round, allowing the tears to flow down._

" _WHAT?! I would never call you… THAT. Ever." He says._

" _Yes, and running around like you rule the goddamn school and bullying first-years is so much better? Hexing people because they looked at you wrong? Thinking that you're so much better than everyone because you're on the quidditch team?" I yell. "How much better is that?"_

 _I spin around and run back to the castle, longing for my friends, as sobs wrack my small frame. I catch the eyes of loitering students, glad to be finished with their exams. I run past fifth years and seventh years alike. Sixth years, some already studying for their NEWTS the following year, others wanting to be in the sun. The birds are chirping, and the sun is shining. The lake glitters beautifully. I am out of place amongst beauty, perfection, and happiness. I am a spot of dark alongside light._

 _I am running._

 _I run past bewildered faces, past the doors separating marble from grass, past the house point display. I run past people who have stilled, stopped mid conversation to watch Lily Evans flee from what they do not know. I run past the dining hall, past the grand staircase. I run down the stairs, into the dungeons. I'm out of breath. I run harder. Faster. My lungs hurt as I turn into a cupboard, where Sev and I have been working on a potion. I brace my hands on the table, tears flowing freely as I gasp for breath. I look up, try to steady my breathing. I look at the table, papers scattered, and a cauldron amidst it all. It's nearly full, bubbling silver and gold._

 _I draw my wand, closing my eyes. I listen to the silence, to my heartbeat. I open them once more, my sight no longer blurry, my breath shaky but constant. I point my wand at a stack of papers. "Incendio." I whispered the spell, tears slowing as I watch the flames devour parchment. I wait until the papers are no more that smoldering ash to put out the fire. A spout of water smothers the flames, leaving charred paper and water on the metal table._

 _I walk closer, leaning over the cauldron. Months of research. I should keep it. I should improve it. But this is Severus' more than it is mine. My idea, but his theory. I can recreate it, better. I can do this without him. A potion meant to help slow dragon pox._

 _I don't notice that I am crying once more until a tear falls into the cauldron. I lift a shaky hand, and empty the contents of it with a flick of my wrist. I fall to my knees, tears falling from my eyes in a steady stream._

 _It wasn't a word that showed me he was gone to me. It was the look in his eyes, the prejudice heard so clearly in his tone. He'd shown me that magic was real. That I wasn't some… freak. He was my first and closest friend, he stepped onto the Hogwarts Express with me in first year._

 _And yet the slur had fallen from his mouth so easily, as though he had been waiting to say it._

 _I stand, my wand still clutched in my hand. Tears fall from my eyes still, but slower. I raise my free hand and wipe the tears from my face. I spin on my heel, and take a deep breath, looking at the wooden door. Dark brown, with knots all throughout. I run a hand on the ridges where the panels meet. I drop my hand, and work to quell my tears._

 _Slower, slower, gone._

 _I wipe my face once more, reach for the door handle, and leave the room behind. The door clicks shut behind me, and I listen to the sound of my feet hitting stone echoing in the stone halls. That's how I hear them. Footsteps, similar to mine. Louder. Someone heavier? And another set. Two people. I'm not surprised, seeing as I'm in the dungeons-near the Slytherin common room. But I walk faster nonetheless. I'm making an assumption, sure. But many Slytherin's are very,_ very _, prejudice towards muggleborns._

 _I clench my jaw. Force myself to slow, back to my normal pace. I will not be afraid of what could be. I relax, and continue to walk to the stairs. The footsteps get closer. I turn, and what I see fills me with dread. Mulciber and Avery, wands in hand, disgust and excitement in their eyes. I turn my back to them._

 _Mistake._

 _I barely have time to cast a weak shield charm before a body bind curse slams into it, breaking it as I fall to the ground, frozen for but a moment before I cast a stronger shield charm, turn and run towards the stairs. It's when my feet are bound together and my palms scraped in breaking my fall against the hard stone floor that I decide not to play defense. My knees ache as I split the rope and stand, but I ignore the pain._

 _I turn quickly, watch at Mulciber raises his wand. I don't give him the chance. "'Aresto Momentum!" I yell. He's slowed, but not for long. I'm focused on holding the spell, and I don't notice Avery casting a spell until he yells the incantation._

" _Incarcerous!" And yet another rope is wrapped around my legs before I can even react. I fall forward, and the ground comes fast as I thrust my arms out in front of me. I cry out as my hands hit the floor, still gripped around my wand. I roll to the side and raise my wand with bloody fingers._

 _I sever the rope and stand. Spell after spell fly from my wand, lighting the corridor. They collide again and again with the shield charms that the sevenths years conjure again and again. I cast jinxes and hexes, backing away, moving towards the stairs. When a jet of red light finally penetrates Avery's shield charm and sends him flying backwards, Mulciber is angry. He fires spells at me, and I know I am outmatched as Avery begins to stand, fire raging in his eyes. I cast the strongest shield I can conjure, but I am already tired. I turn and flee, taking the stars two at a time._

 _I think I'll get to the top-right until I feel my body go rigid as I fall to the ground. I made it halfway. I taste blood, but I can't move. I tumble down the stair, and I can feel bruises forming. I reach the landing quickly, but it feels like an eternity. My wand is left forgotten where I'd fallen. I feel completely and utterly helpless as they bind my hands. They release me from the body bind, and Avery grabs my arm and pulls me up roughly, shoving me._

" _Walk, mudblood."_

 _A single tear falls down my face as I stumble forward. I walk until we reach a dungeon. Mulciber all but throws me inside. I manage to keep my footing, but when they bind my feet for the third time, it is all I can do to keep my head from slamming into the ground._

 _I can't tell who, my eyes are closed. But someone rolls me over with their foot, as though I am garbage left on a sidewalk. My eyes pop open to see Avery cast a 'muffliato' at the door. Then he turns his wand on me. I barely hear him speak the incantation. He whispers, eyes full of malice and hate, "Crucio."_

 _My every cell is on fire. My throat is raw when I draw breath. I can feel my stomach burn. I curl into a ball, and I scream._

 _The sound is foreign. I can hear myself begging for mercy. It feels as though I lay there for an eternity, screaming, pleading, crying._

 _When the pain finally relents, I cry harder than ever._

 _By the time I think to check, they are gone._

Lily awoke, silent tears streaking down her face as the memory of the pain made her recoil. She laid in bed, tears soaking through her pillow, and she wondered when they would attack her next, and who it would be, because she knew in that moment that they would. She promised herself never to leave her wand out of reach, and as best she could, go everywhere with someone. _But_ , she thought, _I will never give them the satisfaction of hearing me scream. Not again._

(in the bathroom)

Lily pressed a towel to her mouth, trying to block out the sound of her sobs, not wanting to wake her roommates. She knew it hadn't worked, for a few moments later she found a hand rubbing her back, and she turned around, burying her head into a shirt and pouring her soul into those tear. She'd known as soon as she felt the hand on her back that it was Alice, but didn't register two more people joining their loving embrace. She pulled away and jumped into the fourth girls' arms the moment she heard her voice, filled with worry and fear. After what seemed like an eternity, the green-eyed witch pulled away and looked into the eyes of her mates, whispering, "I'm sorry for waking you."

"No." Marlene spoke, her voice quiet but firm, "Lily Anne Evans, do not apologize. I'm not going to push you to tell me what happened, because I know you too well to think that if I push hard enough, you'll break. But, if you ever need to talk to someone, any time of day, you find me. You can always talk to me, no matter what."

"Me as well." Alice, Em, and Mary said in unison.

"Thank you." The witch mutter.

"Lil… what's wrong, love? You can talk to us." Alice asked.

Lily closed my eyes and spoke quietly, knowing that she had to get it off of her chest. Not the whole truth, just one detail. "They- He's just going to hurt me again."

-Marlene-

The girls worked their way through the halls, walking with the morning rush, having left a bit later than usual to avoid walking down with the Marauders. When Lily had finally fallen asleep, the girls had decided that 'he' had to be James. But Marlene had a feeling that she was keeping something from them, from her. She had said they at first, and she doubted Lily would get that broken up over James Potter.

 _The last time she'd been like that was after Snape had- Snape! Would she forgive the prat? Could she? But wait- that covers he, not they. Ugh! When I find out who did that to her, and what they did, someone is going to pay, mark my word._ Marlene stumbled slightly, having been caught up in her thoughts, but caught herself and moved a bit faster to catch up with the other girls.

When they reached the hall, she couldn't help but notice James' smile widen, his posture straighten. Then, it was so obvious that he genuinely liked her- loved her. But, his grin slowly faded as he caught the look on Lily's face, puffy eyed, telling him that she had been crying. His features morphed in concern, he opened his mouth to speak, but the only words that escaped his mouth were "What's wr-", before he caught the glares of the other girls and shut his mouth, because Lily's eyes were full of tears again, and one escaped, but before many people could see it, she reached up and wiped it away, determined not to be seen as weak.

-James-

"Alice, is she alright?" He asked once Lily and Marlene had left the hall after many fake smiles and laughs. Alice was sitting up, straight as a pin, in her seat.

"Yes." She answered, but she didn't meet his eyes.

"Are you sure? Because-"

"James, just leave her alone."

"What? For once, I haven't done anything wrong, and still you're angry with me?"

"Just… leave it." She replied, and he can tell her patience was wearing thin, but he had to know.

"Alice, please, I only want to help her."

"If that's true, then you will leave her be."

"Alice, I can't. I… I need to help."

"God, James, can't you just swallow your pride and stop trying to be the goddamned hero every time? She doesn't need you! She doesn't love you! Dammit, she bloody hates you, but she doesn't want that to get to her this year! Look where that's gotten us!" She shouts, and he blanched. The hall had gone quiet, and everyone was staring at her as Alice- calm, reserved, Alice- stands up and storms out. But before she can reach the doors, Professor McGonagall yelled after her.

"Miss Prewitt! I expect better from you! Det- Don't let it happen again!"

"No promises with that idiot!" she shouted back, and everyone is left gaping at her as the strict teacher, who has always had a soft spot for the Marauders and Lily's group (however guarded it might be), delivers a detention to the brunette, as she had almost done a moment ago. "When? Friends beat detention, Professor. And he," she jerked a finger in James' direction, "Is ruining my friends life." She turned towards James and said, with a finality to her words, "And you stay away from her, or so help me you will end up in the hospital wing." And then, she strode from the room, leaving nearly everyone speechless. Frank, a seventh year and head boy, rose and silently followed the younger girl's tracks. But James was left to think. What had Alice meant? Was he the reason behind her upset?

-Frank-

When he finally caught up to Alice, he reached out to her, seeing as she was still oblivious as to his following her. She was still upset, so Frank's touch startled her. She whips around, her arm held up, and the back of her hand comes into contact with his face with a crack. He turned back to face her, thinking, _That'll leave a mark_. Both of her hands are covering her mouth, and she looks terrified.

"Frank…" she squeaks, "I'm so sorry, I'm so, so, sorry! Oh, Merlin I'm a terrible person, I'm so sorry! I thought you were Potter!" She said, backing away. Her back hit the wall behind her and she sank to the ground.

"Don't be sorry. I'm fine. Plus, I'm sure he deserved that. He usually does, only difference is that usually it's McKinnon who blows up. What'd he do?"

"Oh, I don't know, I d-don't know. Lily w-woke up crying last night and she s-said that he was only going to hurt her again, but I've n-n-never seen her so b-broken up over him." She cried, sniffles breaking through her words before she let out a gut-wrenching sob at the end. Alarmed, Frank pulled her in for a hug because it just seemed so right at the time, whispering words of comfort into her ear.

"Alice…" He said, once she has calmed down considerably, her sobs brought down to silent tears and the occasional sniffle. "Are you sure she meant James? Maybe someone else?"

"But who?" She asked, wiping away the remaining tears as she subconsciously leaned into Frank.

"What about Snape? I know they had quite the fight, and that they aren't friends anymore, but that's about it."

"He- he called her mudblood." She said, and Frank let out an aggravated huff, holding her tighter. "But… you know, maybe you're right."

"Okay… talk to her. See what she says, pay attention to her reaction, she could easily lie."

"Okay." She said, and he moved to stand up, but her arms tightened around him and her body stiffened ever so slightly.

"Could… could you stay, just for a bit?"

"Yeah… I reckon I can." He said softly, and she relaxed into his arms, her body molded to his perfectly. She tilted her head onto his shoulder and moved closer, always closer. He removed his arms from their awkward side hug, only for one to be replaced around her waist as he rested my head on top of hers as they sat, backs against the wall, staring at the tapestries across the hall.

You know the deal… Merry (belated) Christmas to those who celebrate, Happy Holidays to everyone!


	5. Side Effects

**So... it's been a while. Sorry? But I'm back, and I'm going to post more regularly, even if I have to post something absurdly short just to give you some more content. Chapter six is coming very soon.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable.**

-Lily-

Lily didn't understand. What could happen in a person's mind to make them so cruel, so… twisted. How could anyone follow a man who believed that all muggles and muggle-borns- essentially all non-purebloods- should be killed. How could someone _torture_ a person and continue on as though nothing had happened? As though they hadn't just changed the course of someone's life? The way they thought? Whether or not they ate the next day- if they could go to sleep at night knowing that they would sleep the night?

But Lily didn't have to understand. She took sleeping potions at night, she had her friends during the day, and it seemed that she was soon to have four more. They didn't need to know. They wouldn't understand. They'd never had to hear their own screams, they'd never been tortured because of who they were- for being _born_.

She had to fight back. For herself, but for those who couldn't as well.

-James-

James didn't understand. What had he done wrong to make Alice Prewett snap? For _once_ , he truly hadn't done anything, and yet Lily Evans was still upset with him. He knew that she was upset- he wanted to know why. He didn't know why she was taking it out on him. Maybe he was just easy. He wouldn't rest until he knew who had caused it.

But James didn't have to understand, not yet. He had to fight for her, as he always had. He couldn't give up now, not when she finally seemed to be moving closer.

-Lily-

It was dinner. Her time in dungeon 7 was locked into a box in the very back of her mind, the 'Do Not Touch, Do Not Open' box. But more importantly, it was their second day at Hogwarts. To be exact, just short of 24 hours after the Welcoming Feast. Lily and the girls sat together, breaking out into laughter at random moments. Lily was mid-whisper to Marlene when a clock chimed loudly in the hall. Students looked around, confused. It wasn't yet seven… was it? But then something happened. The Marauders were lifted into the air, about two meters over the Gryffindor table. Heads turned as their hair changed to long, blonde, ringlets, and their robes to gowns, similar to that of the muggle fairy tale, Cinderella- only in scarlet and gold. Laughter bubbled from the sixth year Gryffindor girls mouths, followed by the rest of the hall. It was refreshing to see the prank masters being pranked.

They spun slowly for another minute or so before they were lowered down to their seats. Their robes seemed to appear from nowhere, descending from the ceiling, neatly folded. Peter reached up to grab a hold of his, but they pulled out of his grip, taunting him. No one noticed Emmeline Vance flick her wand up in time with the robes. James looked up, locking eyes with Lily. He grinned, his eyes sparkling. Lily smiled back, her own eyes shining with mischief. James furrowed his brow, asking silently what she was up to. Lily didn't answer. But then, his gown disappeared, leaving him in a corset and underskirt. Before anyone could say anything, the girls were gone, walking to Gryffindor tower amidst laughter.

-James-

Who would've known… prefect Lily Evans, a prankster. He watched her walk from the hall, and he was reminded once more that she was it for him. She was James' end-all, be-all. If only he could convince her that he was worthy of her love… but he would have to convince himself first. To him, Lily was perfect. She was beautiful. And he didn't mean that she was pretty…her soul, her personality. She was gorgeous. Maybe she would always be too good for him. But he would always work hard, to maybe _one day_ be good enough. He could wait, as long as it took.

-Lily-

Lily was satisfied with the outcome of their prank, to put it lightly. The look on their faces were perfect. They were ready for the boys to retaliate. They went to bed in high spirits, and ready for the first day of classes.

-Marlene-

Marlene was happy. They pulled it off _flawlessly_. Nobody got in trouble. They weren't angry… it was perfect.

-Lily-

Lily couldn't breathe. She couldn't see. She couldn't _feel_. Everything was pitch black. She was suffocating. She couldn't hear herself struggle. She could only hear screams. Coming from everywhere…she was surrounded by pain. She couldn't do anything. Why couldn't she move? She wouldn't know if she could. It was terrifying. She tried to scream. She tried to cast a spell. Anything that would take her from this hell.

-Marlene-

Marlene couldn't sleep. What would she do if Lily had another nightmare, and she wasn't there? So she painted her nails. She brushed her hair. She went over quidditch plays. She looked over at Lily. And she jumped out of bed. She was clawing at her throat, tears streaming from her eyes. She looked terrified. She ran over to her best friend's bed. She put her arms around her. She talked to her. "Lily, Lily love. It isn't real. Whatever it is, it's just a dream. Wake up, Lily. Wake up, _please._ " Marlene was crying too. She wouldn't wake.

She poured water on her. She shook her. She tickled her. She gave her hugs. She tried everything she could think of. The other girls were awake. They tried to help. Lily had stopped clawing at her throat, but she was still crying. She was on her bed, curled into a ball. Then Marlene had an idea. Lily was always brightest of them, but she was always fighting for the top spot with someone... "Get the boys."

"What?!" Alice looked murderous, "We don't need them!"  
"And much as I would like to agree with you, we do! And you know full well they know how to trick the stairs. Just do it, please! _Now,_ Alice!" The witch ran from the room. A minute later, she came back, James, Sirius, and Peter in tow.

"Peter doesn't know how to get up here. What happened?" Sirius asked, concern clouding his grey irises.

"It's Lily. She's having a nightmare, and we can't wake her up." Emmeline explained, genuine fear evident in her tone, tears welling in her eyes.  
The change in James' face was immediate. His eyes grew, and his jaw clenched. He closed his eyes. He looked furious. And then he opened his mouth. He knew what this was. An after effect of the Cruciatus Curse. But, if she hadn't told anyone, it wasn't his place. "This happened to my dad once. Something happened to her, and she's reliving it. Something terrible." James turned and wordlessly cast a 'Muffliato' charm on the door.

-Lily-

She could see their faces now. Mulciber and Avery. Leering at her. She saw everyone she loved. Heard their screams. She'd given up. The fire inside of her had been put out. She couldn't breathe, it was like she was stuck in an eternal loop… feeling as though she had just exhaled, to thinking her lungs were about to burst. And back again. She knew why she couldn't breathe. She was reliving her worst moments. She had almost drowned once-when she was ten. She may have given up, but she still had her mind. She knew it wasn't real. She just didn't know how to fight it.

Then she heard Petunia, yelling. "FREAK!" and then she was screaming. She sounded tortured… broken. And it terrified Lily. Her sister hated her, but she would always love her. No matter what she said or did, Petunia was still her sister. She had to stop it. She _had_ to! She tried to scream. She tried so hard. She would wait until she had the most breath- which isn't saying much- and scream. _Help. Please. Petunia!_ She couldn't help her. She couldn't help anyone. She couldn't even help herself.

-James-

James paced back and forth in the dorm room, running his hands through his hair. "Dammit!" He squatted on the ground, his head in his hands, "Dammit, dammit, dammit." He whispered. He stood up and walked over to the bed. He sat down next to Lily and gathered her into his arms. "Please, Lily. Fight. For me…" James whispered. "You need to fight!" he was yelling now. She _had_ to wake up. His father had gone through this, and it took him two days to wake up. He was _different_ when he did. Jumpier. Which was saying a lot, considering he was Head Auror… it took a lot to scare him. He wouldn't let Lily be stuck for so long. "Get out." his voice was hoarse, not from yelling, but from fear. He didn't know if he could do this with them here. And when she woke up…

" _What?_ I'm not leaving her! Are you mad?" Marlene… she was always protective. But he couldn't let her stay.

"No. This? This isn't the Lily you know. I need to wake her up so we can get her back, and I can't do that with you here. Just… go to the common room or our room. Anything. _Please_. I'll tell you the minute she wakes up." James pleaded. Marlene sighed and walked over to Lily.

"Lily, you can do this. I'll be here when you wake up. Please, if you can't do this for yourself… do it for me." She whispered, closing her eyes for a moment before she walked out, followed by Alice, then Emmeline and Mary. Remus met his eyes and nodded, walking out after the girls.

Sirius turned to him. "James…"

James closed his eyes. "I know, Sirius. I want to kill whoever did this. But I have to do this first.."

"Alright. I want you to know, if you need anything, I'm here. Anything, James. You're my brother." James looked at the person who had been there through everything since he met him, and they came to an understanding. James had to do this, on his own. Sirius walked out, and then it was just him and Lily.

James took out his wand and performed a spell he'd learned when the healers used it on his father. He loved Lily, and he knew it would work. He closed his eyes and waved his wand, repeating the incantation in his head as he pictured Lily. Her emerald eyes, her smile. The crinkle in her brow when she was angry. The look on her face when she was concentrating. Her crimson hair. The ways her eyes creased when she was laughing. He opened his eyes, and saw a white light shoot into Lily, then back out and into him. He stumbled, the impact and the pain stunning him. He had taken some of Lily's pain and transferred it onto himself. He clenched his jaw, and he knew it would only end when Lily woke up. And if this was only a fraction of what she was feeling… she had to wake up.

He sat down. "Lily, if you can hear me, I need you to listen to me. Whoever did this to you? They don't deserve to be able to sleep at night. Whatever you're hearing, I need you to block it out. Focus on me. Focus on my voice. You are perfect. You deserve to be here just as much as I do. You turn 17 this year. You can do magic at home. You can go wherever you want, do whatever you want. Think about it. Think about… graduation. It'll be sad, leaving Hogwarts, but then you're out. You'll get a job. A healer, an Auror, whatever you want."

"You need to get there. You need to wake up. Please, Lily. Wake up. Do it for Marlene. She's going crazy, worrying about you. And Mary, she needs you. She looked terrified. Emmeline and Alice, they're strong, but they can't lose you. You'll wake up eventually, but they can't lose the Lily they know and love. I can't. So please. Wake up. Wake up, Lily." He opened his eyes. When had he closed them? James didn't know. Lily wasn't crying anymore. Her eyes were closed, but she was awake. James knew it- the pain was gone.

"Lily? Lily, open your eyes." His voice was shaking. She opened her eyes, beautiful emeralds shrouded in fear.

"It's not real. Whatever you saw, whatever you heard. You're here now. You're safe." James whispered.

"But it is… It's real, and I can't undo it. I just want it to go away. Make it go away…" She pleaded, tears falling from her eyes.

"I can help you. I won't let them hurt you again. I know you're scared. I know you don't want to go back there. Ever. But you need to _tell me what happened_. Please." James looked the witch in the eyes, his tone sincere and his gaze unguarded.

Lily took a deep breath, and when she spoke he voice shook and her eyes were shut. "It was at the end of last year. When I fought with… Snape. I ran inside, and I was devastated. My wand in my hand, but it was two on one. I was tired. I was unprepared. I was so _stupid_ …"

"Hey. Hey, look at me. This is not your fault. In any way. This is on them, and them only. And they're gone now. Out of Hogwarts." He couldn't let her blame herself. It wasn't fair.

"I know. But what if I was ready? What if I wasn't so… lost, in my thoughts? What if-"

"I don't know. I don't know what would've happened. But we can't change what's already happened."

"Okay… I was trashing a potion Sev and I had been working on. _Stupid_ , but I was angry at him. I left, and I was walking towards the stairs when I heard them. And I _fought_ , James. I fought with everything I had. I knew it was different than the other time. But they just got mad at me. I should have been better. I should have known."

James closed his eyes, his jaw clenched. "No, Lily. They shouldn't have been there. They shouldn't have taken advantage of you. This wasn't your fault."

She nodded, barely acknowledging him before she pushed on.

"They bound my hands and feet. I couldn't move. They dragged me to a dungeon- dungeon three. And they tortured me for fun- for _practice_ , they said. Because I'm a ' _mudblood_ '. I couldn't hear anything but my own screams. It hurt, James. It hurt so much…" Lily was crying.

James sat next to her, wrapped his arms around her and said, "No one will ever hurt you like that again. I'm here." He felt Lily nod, her head on his shoulder.

"They left, eventually. I don't know how long I was laying there before I got up. I dragged myself to my dorm- everyone was at dinner. I had pain potions, and I tried to heal myself, best I could. And then I pretended it hadn't happened. I take dreamless sleep potions. I forgot, after the welcoming feast, and when I told the girls that they were just going to hurt me again, they assumed I meant you. I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. _I'm_ sorry, that this happened to you."

"I took my potion before I went to sleep last night. Why did this happen?" Lily looked scared. If this could reach her with the potion…

"It's a side an effect of the cruciatus curse. It happened to my dad. But you… you're lucky you aren't dead. The force that they hit you with it… But that's not important. This wasn't a dream. It was… like you were stuck somewhere, reliving the worst moments of your life. You don't have to tell me, but… what was it?"

Lily took in a shuddering breath. "It was dark. Pitch black. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't hear. And then I saw their faces, and I heard screams- mine. I started hearing everyone I love scream. I heard Marlene, Mary, Alice, Emmeline, my parents… and my sister. Petunia. And it scared me because there was nothing I could do. Eventually, I heard your voice. It was like… an anchor. Holding me to reality so that I wouldn't slip into the endless void of my fear. _Thank you_."

"Thank you, Lily. For coming back. What do you want me to tell the girls?"

"Tell them that I'm tired, and I want space."

"Okay." James stood, but Lily grabbed his hand.

"Come back. I don't want their questions, but… I can't be alone."

James nodded. "I'll be right back. I promise." James walked to the door, and out of the room. He all but ran down the stairs. He walked into the common room and found seven people looking back at him. "She's okay. She's scared, tired, and she needs space. She doesn't want anyone asking questions. You should stay in our dorm. She asked me to stay, she can't be alone. Goodnight." James spun on his heel and walked back up the stairs before anyone could get a word out. He reached the sixth year dorm and walked in.

Lily looked up at him and patted the bed next to her. James sat down, and Lily put her head on his shoulder as he wound his arms around her waist. James looked over, and he knew Lily wouldn't be able to sleep on her own. "Where are the potions?"

Lily didn't speak, just pointed to the cabinet across from her bed. James stood and walked over to it, opening the wooden doors. He crouched down, reading labels until he saw one- 'Dreamless Sleep'. He picked it up and closed the cabinet, walking back over to Lily. James handed the witch her potion before easing back into his previous position. "Thank you, James."

"Anytime." Lily took the potion, and she was asleep within the minute.

 **Suggestions are wonderful, feedback is amazing, and please review.**

 **Until next time.**


	6. The Morning After

**A/N:** So it's been a while… Long chapter to make up for it? Don't hate me? Hope you like it, R&R, please!

-James-

James opened his eyes slowly, looking down at… Lily? He stared at her red hair for a moment, confusion clouding his thoughts when it all came rushing back to him. James sucked in a breath, clenching his jaw.

The cruciatus curse. Mulciber and Avery. Snape's potion. The dungeons.

He was glad that they weren't still here, for their sakes. He glanced at his watch. It was nearly seven thirty, and his first class wasn't long after eight. He had to wake Lily, let her know so she wouldn't be late. However hard he tried not to be, his movement were awkward and jerky when he shook her awake. "Lily? Evans, wake up." She opened her green eyes slowly, squinting into the sunlight. "It's seven thirty. I'm going to go change, you should too. I'll see you at breakfast?"

"Okay, yeah…" Lily paused, pondering what to say. "James?" He turned to her, hazel eyes meeting emerald. "Thank you."

"You don't ever need to thank me. I'll be here, no matter what I might say." She nodded, acknowledging his words. Despite his best efforts, he blushed furiously as he moved his arms from her shoulders. Had he been paying attention, he would have noticed that her cheeks had turned crimson as well. He walked over to the door, stepping on something soft and silky along the way. He looked down at his invisibility cloak, folded by the door. _Thank you, Sirius._ He threw it over his head and opened the door, walking down the stairs and over to his own room.

-Lily-

Lily walked into the great hall, she felt as though a great weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. She didn't have to bear it alone anymore. She didn't know why, but she trusted James with this. Not much else, but… with this. She had to tell someone, and he'd been there. She met his eyes, a smile forming on her face. She walked over to him, ignoring the baffled look Mary gave her, while Emmeline gave her one that said _Are you mad?_ But she just walked past, sitting in the empty seat next to James. "Hey," he spoke softly, his voice tentative.

He was scared.

"James… It's okay. _I'm_ okay." He was _allowed_ to joke. Lily might have even said she needed him to.

"No. No, Lily. It's not okay." James lowered his voice. "I should have been there. I'm the reason you were even in that position!" His voice was hoarse.

Did he… _blame_ himself? "James, I don't-"

"Lily? Earth to Lily? Are you okay? We haven't seen you since…" Mary left it at that, not wanting to bring up what had happened.

"Since I had a… flashback, of sorts? You're allowed to talk about it. And I will tell you, eventually, but not yet. I'm not ready yet." Mary nodded in understanding. "But… I'm okay. It might take me awhile to get past but… I'm coping. I told James because he was there and he understood. I trust him with this." She turned to James, a smirk playing on her face. "But not with much else, I'm not insane."

The scarlet-haired witch ducked her head before reaching for a slice of toast. "Lily, if you ever need anyone else, we're here for you, you know that, don't you?" Mary assured her friend.

Lily picked her head up, looking Mary in the eyes. "Always?"

She nodded. "Always."

Lily stood at the top of the stairs leading to the dungeons and closed her eyes. She flinched when she felt a hand on her shoulder, only to retract immediately after. "Sorry. I- I didn't think. Are you okay?"

Lily took a shaky breath, and opened her eyes, emerald orbs determined. "They don't get this power. Not now… not ever." She stepped onto the first step, and then the next. She walked down the stairs with purpose, James trailing behind her. She stepped onto the landing, pausing for only a moment before she continued. She closed her eyes for the briefest of moments when she walked past dungeon seven. She arrived at Slughorn's class after what seemed like an eternity, although she could logically tell herself it had taken no longer than three minutes.

She plastered a smile on her face, looking to Mary, who had gotten there before her. "Hey, Mare. What's up?" She could tell that Mary wasn't buying it, but she hoped that she would just… drop it.

"Looking forward to yet another year of Potions with the damn Slytherin's." The girl rolled her eyes, her voice laced with sarcasm.

"Yeah, no kidding. Are they _ever_ going to cut us a break?" Lily said, relieved that her friend hadn't asked her anything.

Lily turned, feeling someone tap her shoulder. James. "Lily, are you alright?"

"Yeah. That was the first time I've come down here, it'll be easier next time. And James… please, I'm not made of glass. Don't act like I am." She turned around and faced Mary. "I haven't gotten a chance to chat with you since we got back. How was your summer?"

"Amazing, actually. My mum and I went to Oregon for a week, in the states. I honestly don't understand the point of skiing. It's fun, but… isn't it a bit impractical?"

"Isn't flying a bit impractical? But we all love it… or at least we all love _watching_ it." Lily argued. She'd skied once or twice, and she'd _loved_ it. But she knew it wasn't for everyone.

"Alright, fair enough. What'd you do?"

"Me? I…" _Cried? Barely slept? Read?_ "I hung out with some of my muggle friends. Went shopping. You know… the like." Lily said. _The truth, but not the whole truth._

Just then, Bellatrix Black sauntered by, muttering, "Mudblood."

Lily just rolled her eyes. "Get a better insult, Bella." She _hated_ it when people called her that. She stopped and turned to her, malice in her eyes.

Sirius came over. "My dear cousin, how goes it?"

Bellatrix's eyes looked at her relative. "You disgrace the Black name. Don't speak to me."

"Don't speak to my friends." He challenged.

"Oh, so now you associate with the likes of _that?_ "

"For your information, 'that' is a wonderful person. So yes. And I'm willing to bet she gets better marks than you. Scratch that, I can promise you she does. She's a magnificent witch."

"One day soon, cousin. One day soon you will regret the day the sorting hat named you Gryffindor."

"Never." Sirius turned to walk back to Remus, who was leaning against the wall, his watchful eyes awaiting trouble, his brow creased in concern.

But Sirius remained unscathed as Bellatrix walked away, clearly hating that he'd gotten the last word but not risking getting into trouble in front of Slughorn, who had just rounded the corner.

"Anyways…" She turned to Sirius, her smile slipping out. "Thanks, Black. I can fight my own battles but… thanks."

"Oh, Evans I'm well aware. You could kick my arse in a duel. But it's nice, having an excuse to mess with her." Sirius replied, a smirk playing over his features.

Lily laughed, and her eyes lit up. "I'll try to get you more opportunities." She turned back to Mary. "Well… I don't know about you but I'm excited for class."

Mary laughed, shaking her head. "Only you, Lily. Only you."

-James-

James walked through the doorway into the familiar potions classroom, a flash of red caught his attention. _Lily_. It only took him a moment, but he noticed something all too familiar. Snape. It was clear to him that Lily wasn't the happiest, talking to him. He walked over, saying, "Evans! Partners?"

She turned her head towards him, her relief evident. "Sure, Potter." She spun on her heel, walking past him and to a desk where Mary and Remus were already sitting. James trailed behind her, an uncontrollable grin on his face. Lily sat beside Mary, while he took the seat next to Remus. Lily turned to her black haired classmate and said, her voice quiet, "Thank you, but this is one time, to get out of partnering with Sev."

"Okay." James chuckled, holding his hands up in mock surrender.

Much to Lily's chagrin, she giggled- _giggled_ -and said, "I'm _serious_ , Potter!"

James smiled and nodded. "I'm sure you are, Evans." Lily opened her mouth, clearly ready to retort when Slughorn spoke up.

"Welcome, welcome! Now, I'm supposed to give you a lecture on the N.E.W.T.S. and how this year will be hard. I'll keep it short. A ton of homework and more lectures. That is what will occupy the majority of the next two years. At the end of said years, the most important tests of your life. Don't fall behind. Study." James glanced up from his lap, laughing quietly at what he saw.

Lily looked up, brow furrowed. "What?"

"Slug's been talking for what, a minute? What could you be taking notes on?"

Lily rolled her eyes, a small smile playing on her face. "Well, if you must know, I'm not taking notes. I've been working on a potion… I'll tell you about it when it's finished."

"Oh… okay. Okay, brilliant.." Just then, Slughorn looked up from his notes, announcing what they would be making.

"Alright. Gather round, now!" James stood, his chair scraping against the ground as he moved. He noticed two cauldrons on the table and his curiosity piqued and he moved to walk over to the table. They all had lids, so James had no speculation as to what they were. He turned, finding Lily to his left, eyes wide, a small smile playing on her face.

"What is it?" He asked her. She simply nodded towards the table. James turned back to see that not only were there two cauldrons, but a vial of transparent golden fluid. "Is that…?"  
Lily nodded, her smile now more prominent. "Felix Felicis."

"Liquid Luck. How-" But his question was cut off by one very happy looking Professor Slughorn.

"So, I have three _very_ difficult, _very_ dangerous potions here. Would anyone like to tell me what... this one is?" With the final word, he pulled the lid off of the potion furthest from the small vial off with a flourish.

Inside was a brownish… goop. Bubbling every so often… and James knew what it was. He'd seen it many times, even tried it with his father once. He lifted his hand into the air with confidence.

"Mr. Potter?"

"Polyjuice Potion. It's meant to transform a person to look like another individual, but you need something of that person. Usually a hair. Oh, and it's extremely painful and tastes a bit… like overcooked cabbage."

"Correct me if I'm mistaken, but you speak as though from experience!" Slughorn said, his smile growing larger.  
"I have taken polyjuice once," James spoke with an air of superiority, one that he had tried so hard to let go of. And yet the last vestiges of the part of himself that he despised remained prominent. He frowned, bringing his hand back from his hair in an attempt to redeem himself. "It was terrible, and I only did it under the supervision of my father, and permission from the person I was to turn into. Under any other circumstances, it's identity theft- and a crime."

The room had gone silent, everyone shocked by his seriousness.

He grinned. "But whatever floats your boat, I'm not going to stop you if it's harmless."

Uneasy laughter broke out around the room before Slughorn's smile returned to his face as he said, "Well, I'll have to ask you about that later. Who can tell me what is in the second cauldron?" The lid lifted before Lily's hand shot into the air. "Lily?"  
"Amortentia. The strongest known love potion. It smells different to every person-it smells like what they love." Lily said, and James understood why the room suddenly smelled so profoundly of coconuts and broom polish.

"Very well said, both of you. 5 points, each." James smiled and jumped when he heard Lily's voice, quiet in his ear.

"Do us both a favor, and don't get them taken away."

James chuckled. "Wouldn't dream of it, Evans."

"Now, a competition." Lily smiled, and James thought _Of course. Brew something and you get lucky._ "Whoever can brew the best version of a Draught of Living Death will earn ten points for their house and a vial of…"  
"Felix Felicis… Liquid Luck."  
"Spot on, Miss Evans! You have until the end of class. The instructions are in your books. Go!"

Lily turned on her heel, walking towards their workstation, head held high. She reached for her bag, pulling it over to James' side of the table. She opened her bag and pulled out her copy of _Advanced Potion-Making_. She opened it, turning immediately to page ten. Her eyes scanned the instructions, her brow furrowed. James spoke, confusion evident in his voice. "How did you-"

"It's on the board. Set up the cauldron, I don't have any sloth brain in my kit."

James obliged, pulling out his wand as he watched her walk away. He turned to the cauldron as she disappeared from sight, walking to the potions cupboard. He shifted the cauldron slightly before he tapped under it with his wand, a flame forming. He prodded the flame, pushing it to the correct temperature.

Out of the corner of his eye, James saw Snape walk into the space that Lily had entered, and had not yet left. He raised his head to Remus and said, "Watch the flame for a moment, will you?"  
"Prongs, what are you doing." he sighed.

But James was already out of his seat, walking towards Lily and Snape. He walked in to see Snape talking to Lily in a hushed tone, while Lily stood in silence, simmering, about to boil over. He strode over, grabbed the sloth brain from high up-Lily must not have been able to reach it- and said, calmly as he could, "Couldn't reach it? C'mon, potions to brew, vials to win."

Lily smiled gratefully, though he could tell she wanted to let it all out on her ex-mate. "Yeah, let's go." He followed her out, shooting Snape a look that clearly said, 'watch it'.

They walked to their table in silence, up until Lily said, silent but angry, "Potter, you shouldn't have. I'm not some damsel in distress, I need to do this."

"Then imagine that I didn't do it for you, but because I could use some luck."

Lily swallowed. "Fine. Come on, then. Find the wormwood, it's in my kit." James set off to look for the wormwood, while she began to turn the root of asphodel into a powder, grinding it ever so carefully. James raised his hand, the ingredient in hand.

"I found it."

"Good… chop it, very, _very_ carefully. It needs to be exact, the pieces have to be-"

"Lily. I know." James interrupted. He took the small, sharp knife from her kit and began to slice, small cubes, all more or less equivalent.

In fifteen minutes he had finished and Lily had moved to measuring it, the already measured powdered root of asphodel waiting on the side. She handed the wormwood to James, gesturing for him to add it into the cauldron. "On my count." He nodded, and Lily picked up the asphodel. "One, two… three." They poured their respective ingredients into the cauldron in unison, the liquid turning to a deep purple. "Stir, twice clockwise." And he did, carefully, whilst Lily measured the sloth brain.

She pushed her hair back from her face, only to have it fall back into her eyes. She huffed, searching her wrist for a hair tie, but looking up when she found none. "Mary? Hair tie?"

"Yeah, here." The witch barely lifted her head, tossing her the hair tie without a care. James barely caught it before it would have landed in their cauldron.

Lily seemed mildly confused, before shaking her head and taking the white hair tie from his outstretched hand. She pulled her hair back, tying it into a knot atop her head.

James never broke pace, and he only stopped stirring when Lily stopped listing off directions of which way to stir, and how many times.

-Lily-

They stirred, they chopped, and they measured. The potion paled more and more, proving that their efforts were not in vain. It was when Lily had just finished reading off the final step that Professor Slughorn shouted, "You have a minute left! Finish up!" The duo finished the step they were on only moments before a chime sounded in the room, reaching Lily and James' ears, a signal that they were to stop what they were doing.

Lily set down a container of phosphorus beans, placing them in her potions kit alongside her jar of armadillo bile.

Lily's emerald eyes were clouded in thought as she thought of the wizard who was once her closest confidant. The boy who had shown her that she wasn't a freak, nor was she a waste of space, as her sister had so often led her to believe. He had shown her that she was _special_. Unique. And yet…

Normal.

How had the person who had stood up for her ended up where he was? Set to follow a man who she knew would bring only evil to her world. A man who believed that because she was muggle born, she was worthless. Dirty. Surrounded by people who tormented first years, traumatized… who knew how many others. Friends with the people who had tortured her.

He had been her light amongst the dark, and yet he had become exactly what she despised. Lily didn't understand how she could be so blind. So _stupid_. So oblivious to what was right in front of her, clearer than day.

-James-

Lily was deep in thought, but of what James didn't have a clue. He looked at the white hair tie holding her hair up, contrasting with her blood red hair. She shook her head suddenly, as though to clear her thoughts from her head. She stood slightly, peering into their cauldron, seeing how they'd done. He copied her movement, watching the pale lilac color as glimmered in the light above them. James heard Lily sigh, just before the flickering flame went out and the potion settled.

-Lily-

Lily kept reminding herself that it didn't matter. She had plenty of friends, and they all loved her just as she loved them. She didn't need Snape. She had Mar, Mary, Alice, and Emmeline. And if she kept treading the path she was on, she would soon be friends with the four Marauders. She looked over at the boy next to her, who had shown her his other side-the side that cared-which she had seldom ever seen.

Although James was being... decent, Lily figured it was only a matter of time before he went back to his old arrogant, conceited self. She sighed, waving her wand to extinguish the flame beneath the cauldron.

Slughorn started walking around, checking potions. She heard him muttering, commenting on the state of some potions and letting out a nervous chuckle or an anguished sigh at the sight of others.

Lily felt as though her heart was beating out of her chest as he reached Snape's potion. Not because she wanted to win, but because she couldn't lose to him.

Slughorn leaned over Severus' cauldron, his eyes sparkling as he looked at the creation of one of his favorite students. His smile grew as he said, "Marvelous! You've managed to achieve a pale purple color." Slughorn smiled widely as he moved on. Lily's eyes fell upon the small vial at of golden liquid, and she hoped that she'd bested her ex-friend.

-James-

Lily looked nervous, although James couldn't fathom why. Snape's potion was 'pale purple', but theirs was nearly translucent. She kept peering into the cauldron, as though it was going to disappear if she turned away for too long. She pulled her hair out of the ponytail holder, only to put it back up again. She fiddled with the clasp on her potions kit.

She fidgeted in her seat, and it was clear that she was anxious to see what Slughorn had to see. James was confident that they had won, but Lily wasn't sure. James tapped her uncertainly, his touch awkward. Lily turned to him, her brow furrowed. "What d'you want?" She snapped.

"We'll be fine. Our potion is almost translucent." James explained.

Lily scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You only care about winning. You don't understand."

James sighed exasperatedly. "Then _explain_ it to me, because I truly don't!" He hadn't meant to snap at her, but he made excuses to himself. _She started it_. He knew it was childish, but he couldn't help it.

Lily lowered her voice, looking scared. "I don't want to win. I just… I don't want him to win. He _can't_ win. He can't get that vial. He _can't_ , James."

James ran a hand through his hair, shouting at himself for upsetting her. "I'm sorry for snapping at you. But he won't, Evans. He won't." It was all James could do not to reach out and console her, but he knew she would recoil from his touch.

Lily ducked her head, nodding.

James turned his head, and the knowing look from Remus had him mouthing 'shut it'. The look he received from Mary was so different, not jesting, but a warning. Telling him not to hurt her. He shook his head softly. _Never._

Lily's head snapped up when Slughorn reached their table. He went to Mary and Remus' cauldron first. James ran a hand through his hair again, and Lily's posture straightened.

"Very nice. Not quite purple, but close." The professor offered them a small smile, moving over to James and Lily's potion. He stopped, his grin growing as he peered at their Draught of Living Death. He stood. "Amazing. Truly wonderful." He spoke quietly, as though he didn't want to spoil the secret for everyone. He walked to the front of the room, picking up the Felix Felicis and stopping at his desk to get a second vial.

He turned to face the class, the Gryffindors and Slytherins staring at him, awaiting the winner. "There was no question in the winner. They did wonderfully."

A smirk grew on Snape's face. "Cocky arse," James muttered. Lily pretended not to hear but he heard a small laugh from the witch next to him, as though she were trying to convince herself it wasn't funny.

All the while, Slughorn rambled and Snape smirked. "... truly, these two students have exceeded my expectations." Snape smiled, something he had not done much recently.

James scoffed.

"Will Miss Evans and Mr. Potter please come here? One vial of Liquid Luck to each of you." Lily grinned, standing up alongside James. The pair watched as the smile dropped off of Snape's face, James satisfied, and Lily a bit happier about it than she thought she should've been.

-Lily-

They strode to the desk at the front of the room together. Lily was grinning, and dammit she was _proud_. James got there moments before her, his legs longer and his stride larger. They stood their, fidgeting, quelling the urge to reach out and grab the vial.

Lily couldn't stop smiling. Maybe it was because of Amortentia so near by, it's scent taking over her senses, but Lily knew it was because she'd won. Because she'd beat him. Slughorn held out the two vials, and James reached forward, Lily following his actions. The vial was small, no more than twelve hours worth. It was small and slender, the glass the shape of a teardrop. A stopper was snugly stuck into the opening, leaving no room for the slip-ups that Lily always had.

She slipped the vial into her pocket and turned, walking back to the seat she'd vacated.

-James-

James followed Lily, her hair falling down her back in waves. He ran his thumb over the smooth form of the vial in his pocket, thinking of all of the things he could do with twelve hours worth of luck.

He knew he couldn't use it in Quidditch, nor would he ever think to. The first thing that came to mind was Lily, although he was sure that all the luck in the world wouldn't get him very far. James shook his head, clearing his mind as he sat.

-Lily-

Lily let herself forget all the bad things, let herself focus on the happiness and pride that she felt at the moment. She pushed her hair behind her ear, smiling. Five minutes later, the sixth years were let out of their double period, and Lily slung her bag across her beg, following Mary out.

Mary walked faster, and Lily called out to her. "Mare!" She didn't hear her. "Mary!" Lily knew she'd heard her this time, but her friend ignored her. "Mary, slow down!" Nothing. Lily stopped, confused.

-James-

James walked with the other Marauders, the last to leave the potions dungeon. Peter and Sirius on were his left, Remus on his right. He watched with a furrowed brow as Mary ignored Lily's calls, speeding off without her. He frowned, and looked at Lily-she seemed confused. She stopped, people walking around her, but it was like she didn't see them.

James listened half-heartedly to Peter as he raved about some prank he wanted to pull, watching the green-eyed witch ahead of him. The marauders walked, growing closer to her. James grabbed Sirius' wrist when he went to walk past her just like everyone else. Sirius' head turned to James, questioning him silently. _You go, I'll stay_ , he told him. Sirius bobbed his head and turned, walking off with Remus and Peter in tow. James walked in front of Lily, turning to face her.

"Hey… you alright?" He asked timidly. Her head lifted, and she shrugged.

"Just a bit confused. Mary's mad at me."

"I'm sure she'll get over it." James didn't know what to say. If she was angry, sure. But she just seemed… lost.

"Yeah, maybe…"

James didn't even get to open his mouth before he was flying backward. He slammed into the wall, hitting the floor only moments later. James' first instinct was to reach for his wand, and as he did he felt something warm trickling down the back of his neck. He reached back, his fingers coming away sticky and red.

He swore.

He pushed himself back up the wall, grimacing as pain shot up his leg. He stood, leaning against the wall, and he saw Lily running to him. He saw her lips moving, but couldn't hear her voice. He tore his gaze away from her, looking down the hall. There was no one there. The hall had been crowded only minutes before, and whoever had fired the spell was gone as well.

"James! James, look at me." And he did, dazed his hazel eyes looking into her clear emerald irises. James slumped against the wall, his knees buckling as he fell. "Stay here. I'll be right back. You'll be alright." And with that, Lily took off down the hall, running back to the room she'd just vacated.

-Lily-

Lily's vision was blurry as she raced to Slughorn's study. She slid to a stop, hot tears tracing rivers down her face. When had they started falling? Lily didn't care. She banged on the door and shouted, "Professor! Professor Slughorn!" She willed her voice not to break, but her efforts were futile as a fresh wave of tears fell down her face.

The door swung open to reveal a flustered Professor Slughorn, his face twisted in concern. "Miss Evans! What is it?"

"It's James, we were talking, and he was thrown against the wall! The spell came out of nowhere… I think he's hurt, please you have to help me."

The words 'lead the way' had hardly left Slughorn's mouth before Lily was running down the hall towards where she'd left her peer.

James was unconscious, and written behind him was the phrase: 'Mudbloods _will_ learn. Everyone close to you will get hurt. There's nothing you can do.' Lily ignored the words above James' head vehemently, kneeling beside James and drawing her wand. "Rennervate," Lily whispered and moments later hazel eyes were revealed beneath fluttering eyelids.

James shifted groggily, as though he was waking up too early in the morning on a Saturday. Lily held his gaze as Slughorn raised him onto a stretcher he'd conjured. Moments later the Professor was walking down the hall, followed closely by James. Lily didn't stray from his side once.

She wiped her face, clearing it of any signs of the tears she knew were there. She kept her head down as they climbed the stairs towards the Great Hall, watching James to keep her mind off of the other things that had happened there. Lily kept her face hidden as they sped towards the Great Hall, bustling with first years trying to find their way. People slowed and stopped around her.

Watching.

If only they'd been watching her last year.

Lily shook her head to rid herself of the thought. If she started with the 'what if's' she'd be there all day. She focused her sights on the raven-haired quidditch Captain next to her.

Lily walked faster.

-James-

James felt himself being lifted onto a stretcher. He felt the lift of it as they walked up the stairs, heard the voices in the Great Hall. And yet, he couldn't bring himself to open his eyes. Not even when he felt Lily's small, warm hand envelop his own. He could still feel the warm blood on his neck. His knee throbbed, and Lily gripped his hand tighter when he moved.

Was Lily holding him to reassure him, or herself? James didn't know.

James shifted slightly, sending a fresh wave of pain from his knee. He groaned, and Lily whispered, "You're okay, James. You're going to be fine." And for the second time, James didn't know who she meant to console. He sensed that they'd left the Great Hall as the voices faded. Lily's footsteps sounded jarring to him, although he knew they couldn't be very loud. The witch was whispering words of condolence, repeating "You'll be fine," like a mantra. She wasn't crying anymore, James knew, for her breathing had steadied. He heard the click of a door as they approached, the cry of dismay from Madam Pomfrey when she saw him.

-Lily-

Lily let loose a sigh of relief as they entered the hospital wing. He was okay. The witch perked up at Madam Pomfrey's shrill tone, lifting her eyes as the young woman came running over. "Mr. Potter, you couldn't even get through the first day? Truly, what…" But her berating faded as she reached them, looking upon his pained state.

"Oh, what is this? What happened?"

"We were talking, down in the dungeons after potions. It came out of nowhere, someone fired a spell and then suddenly he was flying at the wall." Lily explained, barely taking a pause to breathe.

"Okay, Professor, bring him over here." She walked towards a cot near to her study, Slughorn trailing closely behind. She drew her wand, moving him from stretcher to bed. James had barely hit the bed before she was standing over him, checking him over from top to bottom.

Lily paced at the foot of the bed, fiddling with her hair, her nails, her robes, trying to keep her eyes off of the Marauder in front of her.

Some five minutes later, Pomfrey turned to Lily, who stopped pacing instantaneously. "He's got a sprained knee, and quite the nasty cut on the back of his head. From what I can tell, he was hit with a strong knockback jinx. Flipendo is my best guess." Lily let out a sigh of relief. She hadn't been lying when she'd told him he'd be okay.

"How long will he be in here?"

"I'd like to keep him overnight, but he's free to go tomorrow." Lily sighed. "And you, young lady, need to get to class. It's only your first day back!"

Lily hesitated before saying, "Okay. I'll be back, James. Okay? I'll be back soon." And with that, she left the hospital wing and walked towards the Charms classroom, thinking, _Merlin... please let him be okay._

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading, and if you've been here since the beginning… thank you. You're the reasons why I find time for this.

On a slightly happier note… THIS FIC JUST HIT 1,000 VIEWS! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!


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